Sometimes Mother Does Know Best

I've officially had my finals breakdown for this semester.  Without fail, I have a moment before the "finals funnel" (those 2-3 weeks before exams) when I break down under the pressure of going through another finals period.  The thought of that horrible week just weighs on my until I break down in sobbing tears.  

Only this year, I had a weird version of the breakdown.  Instead of having 24 hours of inconsolable crying, I had 3 days of just...blah.  I wasn't sad, but I sure as hell wasn't happy.  I wasn't bawling, but I teared up constantly at any slightly sentimental thought.  Part of this might have to do with the fact that it was grey and rainy outside, but I still know that it was also my finals breakdown.  

So I did the only thing I knew would make it better:  I called my mom.  She suggested that I come home for the weekend to clear my head.  Of course, I freaked out at the thought of losing so much studying time, but decided to go home anyway. 

And you know what?  It was the perfect solution.  I got good sleep, ate ridiculously good home cooked meals, went to our little downtown festival (and bought a cute vintage pillbox hat for $5!), got a massage, and spent time with my grandparents.  And amazingly, I got an entire class outlined!  Something about being at home helps me prioritize my time (It probably doesn't hurt that my mom bribes me.  "I'll make pound cake if you meet your study goal for the day").  

So my trip home was the perfect medicine.  Sometimes mother really does know best.

40 year thoughts

I did not start this blog as an outlet for my more serious (and therefore) private thoughts.  As my friends know, I have a serious side, I just prefer to keep it to myself.  There are things I care passionately about--the environment, animal abuse, the downfall of public education, the foster care system, to name a few--but I don't always make it a point to share my thoughts or opinions on those matters.  This is probably because I feel inadequate next to my law school counterparts who seem so much more knowledgeable than I am.  

But today is a special day, and I don't feel like keeping it to myself.  Forty years ago today, one of our last genuine leaders was killed.  And yes, I say "our" because we led us all--the whole rainbow--toward a better future for America.  I don't need to go on a long diatribe about all the achievements of MLK, or to talk about what it would be like if he were still alive, or anything like that.  I want to talk about what is pissing me off.

My own generation.  That's right folks, I'm disappointed in us.  

As part of the techie generation, my social life is semi-centered around Facebook.  My "status" message today was "Katie is thinking about this day 40 years ago."  Not one, two, or three, but SIX DIFFERENT PEOPLE asked me what happened 40 years ago.  Are you kidding me?!??!?!  What have we become other than an ungrateful generation who takes absolutely everything for granted???

Now I know that history is not the most exciting subject in high school (I have a lot more to say about that, too, but  not now).  But that history is REAL and directly impacted the way WE live our very privileged lives here in 2008.  For example:

Loving v. Virginia, which was only decided 50 years ago, decriminalized the love life of good friends of mine.  Too bad people are still quick to point out that they are a bi-racial couple rather than seeing them as two people in love.

Rachel Carson almost single-handedly started the Environmental movement 46 years ago.  Silent Spring was a wake-up call and we're still hitting the snooze button.

100 years ago, it was legal to discriminate against Jews, the Irish, Italians, Greeks, etc. in the labor, housing and educational markets.  And black folks get their own sad history in that arena.  While discrimination against those groups is no longer "legal" (ahem), it is still perfectly legal to discriminate against someone because they are gay, lesbian, or transgender.

Asian-Americans were put in concentration camps, on AMERICAN SOIL, just 65 years ago.  The U.S. did not formally apologize for this until 1988, and we still refer to it as "internment" because we don't want to recognize our own prejudices during sacred "war times."  Guantanamo, anyone?

Only 35 years ago, I won the right to control my own reproductive system thanks to Roe v. Wade.  That right is under serious threat.  Welcome back to the alleys and wire hangers, ladies.

Martin Luther King, Jr. was killed 40 years ago today, and we still haven't fixed half of what he fought for.  In fact, it's 40 years later and this is the first time we're had a viable African American candidate for the presidential office.  And his race is still a main issue.

Those dates may seem like a long time ago, but they weren't.  It's hard for we 20-somethings to imagine what America was like 30, 40, 50, or even 100 years ago, but the fact remains that those eras were real.  People really lived through and experienced those moments.  People suffered and fought battles--in war, in the courts, on paper--because they believed that they were working for important social change in this country.  And Generation Y is thanking them by forgetting their sacrifices.

That just flat out embarrasses me. 

Perhaps September 11, 2001 is "our history."  Maybe that's our legacy.  But never forget theway it changed YOUR life, and how it will change the lives of your children.  Because one day, your kids will think you're just an old person telling a sad story, and they won't be able to relate.  It's our job to keep the history of that day alive, as an honor to everyone who suffered, died, rescued, and stood in horror watching.  

Just like it's our job to remember MLK today.   So thank you, Dr. King, for reminding us all that there is still time to "rise up tonight with a greater readiness.  Let us stand with greater determination.  And let us move on in these powerful days, these days of challenge, to make America what it ought to be.  We have an opportunity to make America a better nation."  

He's not with us, but let's keep pushing toward the Promised Land. 

Rainy Day Greys...

Why do people call them the rainy day blues?  I happen to like the color blue, and it makes me feel peaceful.  Rainy days, however, do not.  They make me feel downright grey.  

I'm finding myself feeling pretty negative today (It's rainy and cold outside, I have a make-up class I don't want to go to, too much reading to do, etc.).  So instead of whining, I'm going to spill my three happy things that I am grateful for this week:

1. I got back in touch with a good friend from college.  Not sure why we lost touch, but I think about her all the time.  It feels good to know that we're still friends despite the lag.

2. We had 2 gorgeously warm and sunny days.  Even though it's chilly and rainy today, spring is definitely on it's way!  There isn't really anything that makes me happier than springtime!  Derby is only 4 weeks away!!!

3. I finally figured out my classes for next semester and I cemented my summer independent study.  If all goes as planned, I'll be doing an externship at Legal Aid next year instead of taking so many classes.  This thought makes me exceptionally happy!  

4. I can't help but add a fourth:  CHILE CHILE CHILE.  I can't stop thinking about it!  

I'm going to try to remember these things today...even though the rain is still pouring down outside.

A Few Other Things Y'all Don't Know About Me...

Bagel's tag got me thinking.  I feel compelled to share a few other weirdo things about me that most people don't know.  I'm considering it part of my self-realization to share this with y'all:

1. If I could go back and choose another career, I'd either be an FBI agent or a 3rd grade special-needs teacher.  I'd also love to work for the Travel Channel, but I think most people know that already.  

2. The mirror in my bedroom is positively and certainly a skinny mirror.  I look very tall (ahem, like 5'5" or so) in it, and very thin.  I shamelessly refuse to get a new one.  I pretend like the reflection is real.

3. As ridiculously girly as I am, I HATE to do: anything to my nails/toes, brush my teeth (don't worry, I do, twice a day, but I don't like it), or diet.  I LOVE to: exfoliate, moisturize, curl my eyelashes, and eat junk food like Twizzlers but justify it as "fruit." 

4. I would postulate that most of my friends think I am an organized person.  Truth is:  I'm a mess.  I never hang up my clothes until the pile is really big, I leave dishes in the sink constantly, and I have virtually no organization system for my school work/notes.  My bathroom is a disaster (just ask my parents about this).

5. I am horrible when it comes to doing important tasks like:  calling the cable company to cancel the internet I don't need, returning my insurance agent's annoying calls,  depositing checks, or returning things before the 30 day period.   And if someone reminds me to do those things, I get incredibly irritated.

6. I complain about my Mom, but I really really really really REALLY hope I can be just like her.  Minus the way she drives.

7. I do not forgive easily, and I'm likely to bring up something from 3 years ago in a fight.  It's not fair, and I know it.

8. I truly have ZERO desire to be a stay-at-home mom.  Not that I think anything is wrong with it, it's just not me at all.

9. I wish I was Latina.  Or at least not so painfully plain and boring with no connection to my ancestry.  I "come from" (hate this phrase...my family has been here for 200 years!  I'm just flat-out American) the land of potatoes and beer...not too exciting.  But I can't be more exciting, so I make up for it by staying incredibly blonde.  :)

10. I truly think my dog understands me when I talk to her.  Just because she can't respond doesn't mean she doesn't know what I'm saying.

11. (My favorite number)

12. I have never had a desire to get in a physical fight, but if I encountered someone who I know is or has been violent to animals, I might kill him/her. 

Now y'all know everything you need to know about me!!!

10 Random Things About Me (Thanks Bagel)

So I received my first "blog tag" and the subject is 10 Random Things About Me.  So here goes:

10. I secretly like "gross" foods that girly-girls usually hate:  bologna, hot dogs, and box mac-and-cheese (Note:  I do know that this isn't REAL mac-and-cheese.  It is its own food group.  Real mac-and-cheese is heaven-sent and magnificent, especially if made by Christopher).

9. I procrastinate/jack around most of the time in law school, and then cram really hard in the last 2 weeks before exams.  It's just the way I operate.  I don't get fired up until I'm under pressure.  

8. I'm an ENFP, which apparently means I:  am interested in everything (pretty much true), learn best when several methods are used (very true), need constant change and new things in my life (also very true), love being in love (soooo true), have trouble separating work and leisure time (um, yup), and can be flaky (dammit, that's true).  In short, I am enthusiastic about things until they don't go my way or I get bored.  I think it's best to just call a spade a spade here and admit the truth in that.

7. I would love to be a law professor some day, but I a) don't have the credentials, and b) don't care for academia.  Perhaps as an adjunct teaching law and lit or some type of social justice law?

6. If I had the money, I would not work and just volunteer and travel.  I'd love to combine the two and go on volunteer vacations.  Basically, I wish my life was one big ASB trip.  A major goal in my life is to join the Peace Corps at some point.

5. I am decent at almost everything but not really good at any one thing in particular.  This fact completely depresses me and is a major insecurity for me.

4. I'm vain.  I wish that wasn't true, but I am.  I hate going out of the house looking bad.  I would give almost anything to be one of those naturally beautiful women who can just throw on jeans and t-shirt, put their hair in a ponytail, wear no make-up, and look gorgeous.  Reference point:  my friends Claire & Lucie, Jennifer Garner, and Natalie Portman.

3.  I HATE food/chewing noises.  If I can hear you chewing gum, swallowing a drink, etc., I will instantly be irritated with you.  I get this from my Dad, for sure.

2. I want to write a novel someday.  I've started and stopped several times, probably due to #8 above.

1.  I am happier at this point in my life than I ever have been before.  It's taken 25 years, but I love myself and love my life.  :) 

Now I have to "tag" 5 other people.  Here goes:

Lucie, you will love this!

Heather, of course you're getting tagged!  And I'm dying to know your answers :)

Christopher, I expect to be rolling on the floor laughing

Victoria, take a study break and fill us in!

Claire, do it on facebook!

 

A random gripe about being 5'3"

In the big picture, I'm not even really that short.  But apparently, being 5'3" makes me incapable of performing some ordinary functions.

For exmaple, I cannot use the handicapped toilet at school.  Normally, I try to be polite and avoid the H potty, just in case there is a person who really needs it.  But when your school only has 2 stalls--one being the H-pot--you're left with no choice.  However, you must be 5'7" + to use the H-pot properly.  I feel like a 5 year-old with my feet dangling 6 inches off the ground and the t.p. so far away that it's virtually impossible to reach.  Needless to say, this leaves me feeling RIDICULOUS. 

And as much as I adore my new apartment, the cabinets are so high on the wall that I am only able to reach items on the very bottom of my shelf without using my handy-dandy step stool.  I used to use it once every blue moon when I needed to get down a large serving platter or extra wine glasses (don't worry, I keep 8 in an easy-to-reach place at all times).   In the new place, I am using the step-stool so much that the paint is already starting to chip off the handle!  Sigh.

CLOTHES SHOPPING = DRAMA.  Pants are always too long.  Simple tank tops become dresses on me.  Dresses look frumpy because they go past my knees.  The petite section is my best friend.  Too bad it usually only includes Alfred Dunner and Liz Claiborne. 

Finally, stores like Target and Staples seem to LOVE putting the exact item I need on a shelf that is 10 feet in the air.  Then I have to find a little red-shirt person (a challenge in itself), and they have to get a ladder, and 15 minutes later, I may or may not have the item I need.  I realize that space is a hot commodity, but why must they put the skinny yellow highlighters up top where no moral can reach????  Clearly, this is a necessary item for ALL students and should be reachable.  

Don't mean to complain, but I'm feeling very short today.  :(

Voy a CHILE!!!

It's official--I've been accepted into the placement program in CHILE for this summer!!!

More details to follow, but I just had to share my excitement!