18 November 2008

Perspective

My dear friend Lu is truly super woman.   She is a law student, a fiancĂ©e, and a mother to the most adorable almost-one-year-old you'll ever see.  Not to mention the 10,000 extracurriculars she's involved in, and her adorable apartment, andandand.  She is every woman.  However, even Lu has those days where everything seems like a struggle just to keep treading the water.  She often tells me that the TLC show John & Kate Plus 8 is her "perspective show" for those days when she's at her wits end and feels terrible.  I could be worse, she could have 8 children under 6, right?!?!

Yesterday, I had a perspective day.  I experienced a series of events which reminded me that I am the luckiest person in the world, simply because I have a heated apartment, friends I can talk to about anything, and I will never truly go hungry.  No, this is not one of those self-righteous rants about being grateful for what you have (although you should...).  It's merely a reflection on my day, and perhaps even a call to take a moment for gratitude & reflection on how truly, deeply lucky we blog-readers/writers are.  

I woke up yesterday morning in a not-so-pleasant mood, largely because it was cold, I didn't have time to make coffee (SIN!), I couldn't get the pilot light on my oven lit, and I'm coming down with a cold.  While I spent 20 minutes fiddling with the pilot, I started obsessing about the impending finals, the fact that my dog hates me, missing my family, etc.  By 10 a.m., I had worked myself into a tizzy of worry & stress.  By 2 p.m., my entire viewpoint changed. 

Yesterday at work, we mediated the most heartbreaking case ever.  EVER.  Our client is a very young woman who has spent most of her life living in a refugee camp, so badly beaten that she still bears physical scars, and her parents are still overseas in the camp.  She is here in a foreign city, completely alone, trying to raise her children on virtually no income, and going through a horrible divorce.  There are so many more awful details to this case that I can't discuss, but believe you me, it was devastating.  Today was the only day I've ever cried at work.  In front of my boss.  And she was crying, too.

Lesson learned:  Whenever I miss my family, I need to stop and realize they are an hour away.  One hour.  That's it.  I can call them, I can drive to see them, and I do it often (in fact, I met my mom for dinner last night).  In fact, I have a home to go to, and it's lovely and warm and full of very happy memories.  I don't know what it's like to be forced out of the country I've always known & shoved in a crowded camp.  I don't know what it's like to never be able to go back home.  I have never known hunger and my parents won't ever let me, even if I'm too old to be turning to them.  If I need help, my parents are able to feed me, clothe me, and make sure my heat stays turned on and my dog has food.  They are always, ALWAYS there for me & support me with very few questions asked.  I don't even know the true meaning of homesick or alone.  

At dinner, my mom and I had a conversation about happy topics:  domestic violence and poverty.  We discussed the sad, hard truth that several of my clients go back to their abusive spouses because of financial reasons.  Without delving into the discussion at length, let me just say that we talked at length about the topic, and by the end of dinner, I was just whispering "thank you, God, thank you God..."

Lesson learned:  I am beyond lucky because I've never had to make a choice between someone who might hurt me and being warm and/or having a full belly.  Enough said.

After dinner with mama, I was doing my nightly routine of FBing/stalking, when a good friend from high school sent me a message--her grandmother has terminal cancer and they are stopping treatment.  My friend is dearly close to her grandmother, who is a wondering, spunky woman that doesn't quite realize that she's 85.  Naturally, my friend is floored.  I hardy knew what to say, because how do you tell someone it's going to be ok when you know that (at least for awhile) it's not?

Lesson learned:  I may still be mourning my own perfect, irreplaceable grandmother, but at least I'm through the worst.  She's not suffering at all now.  She passed so peaceably, we couldn't have wished more for her.  The initial "noooooooooooo" has worn off, and I'm (slowly) moving through my grief.  I'm still sad every single day, but I'm beginning to think of her and laugh more and cry less.  I have my mom and my sister to share stories with.  Most of all, I had her for 93 wonderful years.  She was the perfect, and I do mean perfect, grandmother.  I was lucky to have her.


So that's my perspective-check.  I've got it pretty damn good, folks.  When I think of all the things I DO have, it makes it much easier to forget about the things I "don't" have (those new J.Crew patent pumps, the yellow sweater from Anthropologie, etc.).  They just seem incredibly unimportant.  

What gives you perspective? 

13 November 2008

Rebooted

I have my computer back!  

That's right, my dear little dud of a MacBook decided to join the illustrious legion of computers that crash 2 weeks before final exams.  How nice of it.

Alas, the good folks at the Mac store (thank you Will!!!!) brought my little machine back to life, complete with a new hard drive, keyboard, casing, and operating system.  It's virtually new without being new.  It's like if your best friend had massive plastic surgery:  you know it's the same person, but it looks 100% different.  

So I'm back, but I won't be around much.  Finals time is upon us, and I have to cram 3 months of Federal income tax laws into my brain so I can regurgitate them in a 3 hour span.  Fun times!

08 November 2008

Oh Joy, A Meme!

But seriously, you know I love this stuff.  :)  It's insta-blog fodder!  Thanks, Kendall!

1. Were you named after anyone?  Unfortunately not.  My name was going to be Philip, but I turned out to be a girl (oops!).  Then it was Julia, but my mom couldn't think of a middle name, so I became Kathryn Marie.  I hated it as a child, but love it now.  Plain but classy, like me.

2. Do you still have your tonsils?  Nope.  I don't remember anything about it, just that I don't have to clean them out with a bobby pin like my mom (insert ewwww here).

3. Would you bungee jump?  Hmm.  Something about this really bothers me.  It's not the falling, it's the snapping back up part.  But I really, really, REALLY want to skydive!

4. What is your favorite cereal? I have to pick just one?  Cereal is my fall-back meal when I'm too tired to cook.  Warm oatmeal made with milk, cinnamon, and raisins is pretty hard to beat!

5. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?  Never.  The only shoes I even own with laces are my pink Roos.

6. What is your favorite ice cream?  Toss up between cinnamon and peppermint.

7. What is the first thing you notice about people?  Usually the way they speak.  Are they sweet, rude, arrogant, bubbly, etc.  Second?  Shoes.  I'm always staring at the shoes.

8. What is your least favorite thing about yourself?  Loaded question!  Physically, my nose.  Otherwise, my moodiness.  My Scorpio catches up with me a lot.  I should probably work on my self-esteem, too, but I've been doing that for almost 26 years now to no avail.

9. What was the last thing you ate?  Fruity Cheerios (delicious!) & a spoonful of peanut butter.  :)

10.  What are you listening too right now? A little mix of Etta James, Lauryn Hill, Nina Simone, & Joss Stone.  Retro-soul.

11. Last movie you watched?  Love in the Time of Cholera.  I know, never watch the movie version of a book, but I just had to see how it was done.  Cinematography & music were beautiful, screenplay adaption was AWFUL.  But Javier Bardem made it well worth the $4.99 rental fee!  Every time he would talk about his broken heart, I would tell him (and my empty apartment) "It's ok, Javi, I'll comfort you..."  

12. What did you dream about last night?  That is for me to know!  Some things are best kept to oneself. :)   It's finals time, so I'm sure my recurring nightmare will start weaseling back into my life--you  know, the classic "I totally forgot about the exam until the day of" madness. 

13. What book are you reading? Another unfair question.  Currently, I am boring my way through "Immigration and Citizenship:  Process and Policy."  Sexy.

14. Summer or winter?  Summer weather, but winter food.  Don't get me wrong, summer has all the fresh veggies and fruits on it's side, but nothing is cozier than winter soups, braises, and pies.  But yet I can't function if the temperature is under 70 degrees.  Conundrum...

15. Do you have any special talents?  Absolutely not.  

Alright, your turn!  I tag Lauren & Heather, because they might actually do it.  :)  


07 November 2008

Oh Shit.


When I told my dear Mama that I was cutting my hair, she cautioned, "Just keep it long enough to wear in a ponytail!"

So when I went to my hair appointment tonight, what's the one thing I forgot to say???

Thaaa's right.  I've got SHORT hair.  

I kind of like it.  :) 



04 November 2008

The Great Divide

For the first time today, I had the experience of going to vote with both of my parents.  

In 2000, I was robbed of my chance to vote by the pesky fact that my birthday was mere days after the election.   In 2004, I voted absentee from my college dorm room.  This year, 2008, I stood between my parents as I showed my license and signed my name.  

What struck me more than seeing our names all in a row on the registration sheet was how much I have diverged from my parent's ideologies.  I'm no longer the little girl who hangs on every word said by her Mommy and I no longer like sports teams just because my Dad does (the Lions?  Seriously, Dad???).  As my parents began to grow more conservative with age, my sister and I have become increasingly liberal (S. once called me a "little Commie," and I had to politely reprimand him:  "No dear, I'm socialist.").  
 
However, I know that I hold my liberal views because of the values my parents impressed on me as a child.  If I only could remember the number of times my mom said, "Kate, you are no better than anyone else and no one is better than you."  I can remember my dad digging for dollars and change for the homeless as my sister and I tried to blaze on by.  Family vacations always had to be some form of compromise between a beach for mom and a battlefield/historical site for dad--so we could have fun but also never forget the sacrifices of others.  My whole life, I've been taught how incredibly blessed I am, and because of those gifts, I have a duty to give back to my community.  That those with more have an obligation to help those with less.  That everyone, EVERYONE, deserves a fair shot in life.  Just because you're born with more doesn't mean you deserve more, or that someone born with less doesn't deserve more.  And most importantly, sometimes you have to make personal sacrifice to ensure fairness & justice.

Sound like some rhetoric we've heard lately?  Read this.

So thank you, Mom & Dad, for making me who I am today, even if we don't always agree on politics.  In some ways, the apple still hasn't fallen far from the tree.  It just feel further to the left. 


01 November 2008

I should know better...

Things that I am too old to do anymore:

1.  Spend 45 minutes yanking items from my closet in search of THE PERFECT OUTFIT, only to go back to the very first thing I had on.  And where was I going, you ask?  That's right, to a small dinner party.  My priorities are stellar.

2. Run around town dropping off my dry cleaning/paying rent/buying new lip gloss, and forget to eat lunch.  Remember that I only ate 140 calories of breakfast in the form of turkey bacon.  Decide that it's ok to start drinking wine because I'll be eating a massive dinner soon.  Proceed to eat a miniscule amount of dinner because my tummy is too full of wine.  

3. Consume 1.5 bottles of wine, solo.  On the aforementioned empty stomach.  Ugh.

4. Call S. and tell him that he MUST talk to me as I walk the loooong walk home from my friends (ahem, 2 blocks in sober eyes) because there might be ghosts out.  Force S. to talk to me for the next 45 minutes as I shout, "But S., the bed is SPINNING.  IN CIRCLES.  AND LUCY-DOG IS SPINNING, TOO!"

5. Spend this morning drinking water, eating wheat Saltines, and swearing that I'm never drinking again.  Like, ever.  Nevahvnevah again.

6. Crack open another bottle of wine at 7 p.m. because it's impossible to stay home and study on a Saturday night without drinking wine.  That makes me less loser-ish.  Or a law student.  One of those.  Or both.  I think I'll mention that on my Bar application when they ask me why I am qualified to be an attorney.  "Well, your Honor, I can pronounce words like 'heretofore,' and 'in limine' even when I'm hammered.  Ask anyone!"

And to think, I turn 26 in a little over week.  I have matured so much since those glory days at Vanderbilt....