01 November 2008

I should know better...

Things that I am too old to do anymore:

1.  Spend 45 minutes yanking items from my closet in search of THE PERFECT OUTFIT, only to go back to the very first thing I had on.  And where was I going, you ask?  That's right, to a small dinner party.  My priorities are stellar.

2. Run around town dropping off my dry cleaning/paying rent/buying new lip gloss, and forget to eat lunch.  Remember that I only ate 140 calories of breakfast in the form of turkey bacon.  Decide that it's ok to start drinking wine because I'll be eating a massive dinner soon.  Proceed to eat a miniscule amount of dinner because my tummy is too full of wine.  

3. Consume 1.5 bottles of wine, solo.  On the aforementioned empty stomach.  Ugh.

4. Call S. and tell him that he MUST talk to me as I walk the loooong walk home from my friends (ahem, 2 blocks in sober eyes) because there might be ghosts out.  Force S. to talk to me for the next 45 minutes as I shout, "But S., the bed is SPINNING.  IN CIRCLES.  AND LUCY-DOG IS SPINNING, TOO!"

5. Spend this morning drinking water, eating wheat Saltines, and swearing that I'm never drinking again.  Like, ever.  Nevahvnevah again.

6. Crack open another bottle of wine at 7 p.m. because it's impossible to stay home and study on a Saturday night without drinking wine.  That makes me less loser-ish.  Or a law student.  One of those.  Or both.  I think I'll mention that on my Bar application when they ask me why I am qualified to be an attorney.  "Well, your Honor, I can pronounce words like 'heretofore,' and 'in limine' even when I'm hammered.  Ask anyone!"

And to think, I turn 26 in a little over week.  I have matured so much since those glory days at Vanderbilt....  

1 comment:

The Odd Duck said...

What have we learned from this weekend Katie? That if you drink, always, always have a good amount of food beforehand. This eases the drunken shenanigans somewhat. Silly law students. *shakes his head*

- Kendall