04 February 2009

Standing Still.

Apparently, updating my blog regularly was NOT a new year's resolution.  Oops.  Perhaps that's more of a commentary on my lack of inspiration lately, but I just haven't found anything worth writing down...or time to do it.  Even as I type the previous sentence, I know it's not entirely true.  I am inspried.  Maybe I'm just having writer's block...or maybe I am just doing really well at my resolution to spend less time on the computer (I am!).  

Suffice to say, I have been going crazy getting back into the swing of school (still hasn't happened), working at Legal Aid (still there), searching for a job (still unemployed), and fighting the crazy weather here (still icy/snowy outside!).  


That's a good way to sum up how I'm feeling.  Like I'm standing still, stuck until I figure out the job situation.  Each thing on my mind is linked and can't seem to progress until the other things are figured out:  Where will I take the bar exam?  Where will I get a job?  Will things work out with S.?  Will I finally find an apartment that I love?    Will I...??????  The questions never end.

And yet, amazingly, I am a stark raving HAPPY.  Even though I am staring into the face of some MAJOR life decisions, nothing seems to shake me so much I can't bounce back from it in a few hours.  For example, I was freaking out earlier this afternoon about the job situation, scrambling all over the internet looking for opportunities.   As soon as I walked away from my computer, I forgot my stress and was just happy to be running errands, making dinner, and cuddling with Lucy-dog.  I can't seem to stop the happiness, even when everything else is up in the air.

Maybe this is a lesson in patience for me, which is a virtue I absolutely, 100% do NOT possess.  Maybe it's just a sign of the economy.  Maybe it's a quarter-life stage rite of passage.  Maybe it's part of my fate.  At the least, it's a moment for me to catch my breath before the real rat-race of finals, graduation, taking the bar, and working.  

Heck, I'm just along for the ride.  :)


Mandy said...

Yay a new post! You have no idea how happy this makes me. I'm glad that you are happy, even with so many up in the air things. Things usually have a way of working themselves out when they are supposed to.

Dogs make life so much better, its hard to be stressed out when you have a pet. :-)

Going alone for the ride is the best part.

Jess said...

Having a base position of happiness makes all this stress easier to deal with. And, yeah, major life decisions are stressful, but they can also be FUN. I mean, you get to decide what to DO! And you have so many options! It's so cool.