Addendum to La Primera Dia

Two notes before I go to bed:

1.  My host father is ridiculously nice!!!  He is always positive and very lighthearted.  Only problem is:  I can't understand a word he says!  Ok, so I can understand about 1/2 of it.  But I've realized that it's his accent--very very soft and hard to decipher.  And for some reason, I am soooo intimidated by the thought of speaking in front of him.  So, new goal:  talk to Denis more!

2. Denis gave me an electric blanket to sleep with and I almost cried tears of joy.  This house is a freaking cold sink!  It's warmer OUTSIDE than inside!!!!  Good thing I have an electric blanket and 2 goosedown comforters on my bed.  :)

As for me, it's off to bed.  Buenas noches a todos!

Culture Shock

Day 1 in Chile is coming to an end, and I'm almost at a loss for words.  I am a giant emotional jumble.  Up down up down up down.  Currently, I'm doing well but still a little freaked out.  Here are some (simple) observations from today:

1. Sleeping on a place is almost impossible without chemical assistance.  I repeatedly woke up uncomfortable, even through my Ambien haze.  I felt pretty awake during most of the day (partially thanks to café), but I am crashing fast.

2. I should just get used to always being cold.  While it wasn't cold at all outside, the house I'm staying in is FREEZING.  Chileans don't have central heat, just space heaters and wood stoves.  My house has a gorgeous fireplace, and I do enjoy the (slightly) smoky smell.  The temperature here was pretty mild--somewhere is the high 50's/low 60's.  However, I was told that today was slightly warmer than usual.  :(

3. While Chileans are very concerned about conserving energy because it's expensive, they are certainly not concerned with energy efficiency.  A common practice is to crank up the space heater to get a room toasty, and then crack a window when you get too hot.  Also, bathrooms do not have vents, so it's necessary to shower with a window cracked.  This is MISERABLE if it's the winter.  Trust me.

4. NO ONE speaks English AT ALL.  Why this is even remotely surprising is beyond me, and yet I was taken aback that the few people I've met know almost zero English words.  Considering that my Spanish is apparently awful, it's been very very very difficult to communicate with people.  Don't get me wrong--I know enough Spanish to get my point across, but I'm finding it frustrating that I can only understand about 1/3 of what my host family/driver from the airport say to me.  Not only is my vocabulary not up to par, but Chileans speak very rapidly and generally speak softly.  My host family calls this "the Chilean mumble."  And mumbling is the perfect description!  

5. As a blonde, I am definitely an anomaly.  Not that anything major has happened--I just get looked at A LOT.  I should just get out a Sharpie and write "AMERICAN" on my forehead.  But I've been assured by several people that it's no big deal as long as I don't act like a stupid American girl.  :)

6. And here's the biggest shocker of all:  I am scared to death.  I was not prepared for this at all!  I consider myself open minded and fairly observant, so I really didn't think I would be scared of everything...but I am!  I'm terrified of getting hit by a car or bus (which may be a real possibility if I don't look both ways about 20 times before crossing--these drivers are ruthless to pedestrians!), scared that I will never learn the language well enough to feel comfortable in a conversation, worried that my host family thinks I'm an idiot because I don't understand them, decently scared of being mugged, and worried that I will be the most novice Spanish-speaker at the school and therefore make no friends because everyone else is off chatting en español.  

I realize that most of these are first-day culture shock observations, but I needed to write them down...maybe this way they'll fade a bit faster.  I'm really hoping things get better after Monday when I start classes at the Centro.  I guess it's the truth to say that I'm homesick and suffering culture shock.  I'm trying to keep a positive attitude but it's been a difficult day.  Even though it's not even 7 p.m., I'm headed to bed soon and hopefully I'll walk up renewed and refreshed tomorrow!

I love and miss all of you so much!!!!

The Last Few Days

Pardon my Español, but AY DIOS MIO!!!!!  I leave for Chile in three days!  That's frighteningly quick!  So here are some rambling last minute thoughts:

Packing is the stress equivalent of waterboarding.  Ok, so that's dramatic and disrespectful.  I apologize to the poor souls at Gitmo.  But packing really makes me wish I could just jump out my window so that I don't have to think about packing any more.  Every available surface in my bedroom is covered in potentially necessary items to take on the 10 week journey.  Bed is for clothes, bachelor chest is for winter accessories, dresser is for completely random items (read:  stuff I know is ridiculous but I don't want to live without, like my manicure set), and my beautiful bedroom mantle is strewn with grown-up lawyer clothes that will come off their hangers at the very last minute.  Don't even get me started on toiletries and my bathroom (should I bring my diffuser? etc.).  Now I get to cram it all into 2 suitcases.  Sigh.  I had 3 suitcases laid out, but the REB assures me that 3 suitcases is ridiculous and obscene, even though one of them is smaller than my Vera Bradley duffel bag.  He clearly doesn't understand the NEED to take my galoshes and hot rollers.  Sigh again.

Even worse than packing is the emotional roller-coaster.  Two weeks ago, I was fired up.  You could have put my on the plane without any luggage and I would still have been ecstatic.  Last week, I cried and thought about canceling. All I could think about was how nice it would be to just stay at home with Mom and Grandma all summer.  Just looking at my dog was enough to send me into an hour long crying spell.  This weekend, during my favorite holiday, the Indy 500, I completely forgot that I was leaving in under a week.   Now, I am super excited about spending my summer in Chile, but I can feel the fear buried underneath the excitement.  What if I can't understand anyone?  What if my vocabulary is horrible?  What if I run out of money?  What if? What if? WHAT IF????  My current self-dialogue is something like this:  "Oh my god I'm learning for Chile on Friday!  Shit, I should have ordered that history book online.  What shampoo should I bring?  Man, I'm going to miss Lulu.  What if she forgets me?  Ooo, better not forget to pack some gloves.  I can't believe I'm heading back to winter."  And on and on and on.  My one consoling though is this:  If all else fails, I'm in the middle of wine country.  :)  

What Will I Miss the Most?

While I am very very VERY exciting for my upcoming trip to Chile, I've spent some time reflecting on the things that I'm going miss during my 2 months away.  Naturally, I'll miss my family, the REB, my friends, etc.  I will probably cry countless hours over Ms. Lucy-Belle (as my dad has nicknamed her).  And of course, I will miss my daily trip to Homemade Pie & Ice Cream to get an oversized slice of caramel cake.  :)  

But the thing I will miss the most is this:  SEX AND THE CITY, THE MOVIE.  

I am a MORON because I booked my flight the day the movie is released.  Stupid, stupid!  Clearly, I did not have my priorities in line!  I am keeping my fingers crossed that they do a midnight release so that I can get my fix before I leave.  I've checked movie release dates in Chile, and most major U.S. films open in Santiago 2-3 weeks after they do in the U.S.  I CANNOT WAIT THAT LONG.  

So what I will be missing most is a movie about fashion and relationships.  What does that say about me????  ;)

Nightmares

Yup, that's right--I've been plagued by nightmares lately.  Not the being-stabbed-to-death kind, but more of the personal-devastation kind.  Needless to say, it's not been a good month for sleeping. 

It all started with a dream about an ex-boyfriend getting married in a Protestant church and then  asking me to play DJ at his wedding with the CDs that are in my car.  Odd, yes?  Maybe not a technical nightmare, but unpleasant nonetheless.  

Then I started having reoccurring nightmares about final exams--that I forgot one, that I blanked out in the middle of the test, etc.  The weirdest one has been about a take-home exam with Prof. Trucios-Haynes (whom I've never taken, FYI).  I drove to my cousins house in the Salvadorian barrio to take the test, but I kept getting distracted by her loud TV watching, loud chewing boyfriend  (Note:  I do not have a cousin who lives in the Salvadorian barrio...in fact, I have no cousins at all).  I think these are fairly normal post-exam dreams, but I would really like them to go away.  Exams are over, so my subliminal brain should be over them too!

My most recent dreams have been about leaving for Chile, and someone from my family always skips out on saying goodbye to me. In one dream, my mom was too busy to come say goodbye, and in another, my dad drives so (purposefully) slow to the airport that I miss my flight.  Now I know that my family doesn't want me to go, but do I have to have horrible dreams about it???  

As usual, I don't think I'm stressed about leaving, but apparently I am...

Exhausted

I took my last final almost 2 weeks ago, and I am STILL exhausted!

However, I have managed to paint my bathrooms, hallway, and kitchen, spend a lovely weekend with my entire family, parent my neglected dog, get insurance for my trip to Chile, pay my exorbitant tuition and about 8000 other bills, get new contacts...bored yet?  Suffice to say, I haven't really taken any time to relax yet.  I AM TIRED.

Therefore, I'm currently sitting on my couch, drinking my new favorite pinot noir, with Lucy-dog, and watching a documentary on PBS (which I learned about on NPR--Storm Over Everest, highly recommended!) and being perfectly lazy.  Tomorrow, I'll get back on the ladder and finish painting my (apple green) kitchen.  But for now, I'm taking the night off and trying to recoup. 

P.S. I have a million and 87 different things to do before I leave for Chile, so my posts will probably be sporadic at best.  However, this blog will turn into my updating system for friends and family while I'm in Chile.  I leave on May 30, so stay tuned!!!!