27 May 2008

The Last Few Days

Pardon my Español, but AY DIOS MIO!!!!!  I leave for Chile in three days!  That's frighteningly quick!  So here are some rambling last minute thoughts:

Packing is the stress equivalent of waterboarding.  Ok, so that's dramatic and disrespectful.  I apologize to the poor souls at Gitmo.  But packing really makes me wish I could just jump out my window so that I don't have to think about packing any more.  Every available surface in my bedroom is covered in potentially necessary items to take on the 10 week journey.  Bed is for clothes, bachelor chest is for winter accessories, dresser is for completely random items (read:  stuff I know is ridiculous but I don't want to live without, like my manicure set), and my beautiful bedroom mantle is strewn with grown-up lawyer clothes that will come off their hangers at the very last minute.  Don't even get me started on toiletries and my bathroom (should I bring my diffuser? etc.).  Now I get to cram it all into 2 suitcases.  Sigh.  I had 3 suitcases laid out, but the REB assures me that 3 suitcases is ridiculous and obscene, even though one of them is smaller than my Vera Bradley duffel bag.  He clearly doesn't understand the NEED to take my galoshes and hot rollers.  Sigh again.

Even worse than packing is the emotional roller-coaster.  Two weeks ago, I was fired up.  You could have put my on the plane without any luggage and I would still have been ecstatic.  Last week, I cried and thought about canceling. All I could think about was how nice it would be to just stay at home with Mom and Grandma all summer.  Just looking at my dog was enough to send me into an hour long crying spell.  This weekend, during my favorite holiday, the Indy 500, I completely forgot that I was leaving in under a week.   Now, I am super excited about spending my summer in Chile, but I can feel the fear buried underneath the excitement.  What if I can't understand anyone?  What if my vocabulary is horrible?  What if I run out of money?  What if? What if? WHAT IF????  My current self-dialogue is something like this:  "Oh my god I'm learning for Chile on Friday!  Shit, I should have ordered that history book online.  What shampoo should I bring?  Man, I'm going to miss Lulu.  What if she forgets me?  Ooo, better not forget to pack some gloves.  I can't believe I'm heading back to winter."  And on and on and on.  My one consoling though is this:  If all else fails, I'm in the middle of wine country.  :)  

No comments: